My Ride, I Love You Page 2

  Fourth day.

  “Luckily, we met again with such good timing. :) We’re both single, not taken.”

  Fifth day.

  “Do you know that during the past three months, you have been making my days? :D”

  Sixth day.

  “You made me so happy that it washed away all the sadness I used to have. Thank you so much for coming back into my life.”

  Seventh day.

  “They said a good thing hardly happens in our life, so when it does, we must hurry and grab it before it slips through our fingers.”

  Eighth day.

  “I totally agree with that. And this time, I won’t let the good thing slip through my fingers again.”

  Ninth day.

  “Tawan, you know it… You know what I will say to you tomorrow, right?”

  And then…the tenth day has arrived.

  “Good morning, Tawan.”

  I look up from the pile of letters. He walks through the ward’s door straight to me. Maybe it’s just my imagination, but he looks more handsome than any other day. Or maybe it’s because we haven’t seen each other for several days and the longing I felt, mixed with the joy from meeting again, makes him seem even more gorgeous in my eyes.

  “It’s now the morning of the tenth day, Tawan.”

  I am not responding with words to him, just a smile and a nod. I sense something in his voice which hints that he is probably as nervous as me.

  “Well... Tawan, are you free?”

  Of course, I am free. This morning I rushed to my ward since 5 a.m. to finish my ward rounding. And then cleared my schedule just to make time for my dear P'Por. I give him another nod, noting the faint whiff of his usual perfume, Davidoff Cool Water. I am used to its scent because he wears it on a regular basis, but I don’t know why today it smells especially pleasant.

  “Let’s get some coffee, then. It’s on me.”

  I nod again and lead him out to the elevator lobby in front of the ward, then press the down button.

  “So… Tawan, you know what I’m going to say today, right?”

  I meet his eyes and he steps even closer to me, our noses were almost touching already when he asked. The scent of his perfume becomes even more noticeable when the gap between us has been closed.

  I turn my gaze elsewhere but dip my head slowly as an answer.

  “Uh… I want a cup of coffee first. I feel…a bit sleepy, haha.”

  I should have added that last night I was so excited I couldn’t sleep a wink. I kept checking the clock, wishing it would quickly become morning so I could meet P'Por. I ended up leaving the resident dormitory before 5 a.m. because if I couldn’t sleep anyway, staying in my bed was plainly a waste of time. And I would rather get up and make my rounds in the ward.

  But when the sun begins to shine, my lack of sleep starts to show its effect.

  “Iced Americano for me. Large, please.”

  I enter the coffee shop and walk straight to the counter bar.

  “Cafe au lait, please.”

  Though I heard this many times before, I still have yet to get used to how P'Por orders his latte. He calls it Cafe au lait because it is an old habit from when he studied abroad. He always drinks his coffee with milk. He said caffeine has a diuretic effect, which causes the body to lose calcium as well, so we should also drink some milk to counterbalance that loss.

  Once we get our coffee, we look for the seats in a corner. It is still early morning and there are few people. The coffee shop has a quiet ambience, with only the sounds of steam from the coffee maker and the faint background music. The thick aroma of caffeine lingers in the air everywhere.

  “Tawan, do you know what I’m going to say?”

  I still haven’t taken a single sip of my coffee, yet I feel my heart is already racing. When P'Por repeats his question again, I keep my head down and give no response, not even a head movement for yes or no. He reaches over to touch the back of my hand and when he sees that I didn’t pull away, he shifts to holding my hand with both of his hands.

  “Can you please look at me? Give me some encouragement. I’m so embarrassed now, you know?” Though he sounds nervous, there is a hint of humor and cheekiness in his voice. It helps in relieving my own embarrassment for a bit and I managed to raise my gaze slowly until it meets his.

  “Last night I planned a very long speech for this, like how to persuade you, how to begin, and how to finish to make it the most romantic.” He pauses and takes a deep breath before slowly exhaling.

  “But I think it sounds forced and unnecessary, and if we’re to start a relationship with someone, we should make it clear and straightforward, don’t you think?”

  Despite the lack of a nod, I believe that my eyes are giving him an obvious agreement.

  “In the past nine days I kept us apart because I also wanted to know how I would feel if I don’t see you for several days. Besides, I wanted you to have some time with yourself so you can examine your feelings about us. We’re grown ups. We won’t just fool around without giving it a serious thought. We have to commit and aim for a long term relationship, a partner for life.”

  “Tawan… will you be my boyfriend?”

  His “ask for the deal” speech was short, firm, and straight to the point, like he has promised. No beating around the bush. No persuasion whatsoever.

  And since his question was so sincere, so forthright, the answer should also be sincere and forthright. I slowly nod and let a smile bloom on my face.

  “Yes, I’d love to be your boyfriend, P'Por.”

  If this were a fairytale or a book by Shakespeare, it would have been the end of the story, and the screen would be presenting a nifty message, “A journey ends when the lovers are united.” before turning black and showing the end credits.

  Perhaps because it isn’t a fairytale, and not a book by Shakespeare, this is at most a beginning chapter.

  For me, or maybe also for you, love is a journey.

  We simply change from a journey alone into a journey with a companion.

  And now…

  I have P'Por, who will accompany me on my journey. :)

  Chapter 2: Mork

  “Hey, yo! Mork, when does yer uncle’s motorcycle garage close?”

  “Uh… eight in the evening. Why, bro? You need some help?”

  “Ma taillight is friggin' busted. It blinked and just went dead.”

  “Ow, you wanna let me take a look first?”

  “No shit, ya can fix this kinda thing?”

  “Heck, bro, I have an electronics cert. I can fix any electronic equipment. Come, let me check that.”

  I stand up from the bench and walk to my motorcycle to pick up a mini tool kit I always keep in the storage under my seat, before making a beeline to P'Fueang’s motorcycle. Older than me, he is a co-worker at this motorcycle taxi station on a corner where a soi[6] emerges onto the main road. I sit down and swiftly unscrew the taillight cover.

  “No shit, ya look skillful. That’s so pro.”

  P'Fueang utters compliments from beside me while I loosen the faulty light bulb from its socket. I hold it up to look inside and see if the filament is broken. It is the first and easiest thing on the list to check when a light bulb fails.

  “Bro, I already told ya, I got Electronics Tech. Voc. Cert.[7] This kind of thing is a piece of cake.”

  The filament is intact, despite how old the bulb looks, and I am sure it’s not the filament that fails. I touch my screwdriver which is also an electrical tester to the power contact tab inside of the taillight bulb socket to check for electricity.

  “Then why the hell ya a motorcycle taxi driver? Ya can friggin' open a repair shop, or be a factory handyman.”

  The diode on my screwdriver doesn’t light up. I try again and get the same result. Then, the problem must be with the inner wiring or the power distribution going into the socket. I put my screwdriver in its mini tool kit bag and turn towards P'Fueang.

  “Factory jobs give low pay, I
’m making more money as a taxi. I can’t afford a shop, either. I don’t have that kind of deep pocket. Oh, and the thing with your motorcycle, it must be either the wires or power relay. You better visit a garage. I don’t have enough tools to repair this.”

  “Oh, guess I’mma go there now. Yer uncle is always at his garage, right? I’mma have him fix it for me.”

  He says and immediately gets up to fetch his helmet.

  “Wait, what… What about the queue?[8] It’s now your turn, too. Are you calling it a day already?”

  It’s just 4 p.m. and we’re supposed to drive until 9 p.m. And in the evening when people are leaving work is when a motorcycle taxi station gets the most bustling business. It is also the hour which determines whether we earn money - enough money for a living - or not.

  “I dun wanna drive without ma taillight after dark. Besides, I gotta pick up Miss Ai today, not gonna risk it.”

  The last part of P'Fueang’s statement sounds like a mixture between bragging and embarrassment. Dude, pick one, would you? Phooey! I huff through my nose in a jesting grievance. Ever since he landed himself a girlfriend, he grabs every single chance to brag about her. Show him the slightest opening, and he will be at it.

  But what can I say. He’s so in a loving mood.

  “A man having love is such an eyesore!”

  I make a remark but can’t help smiling at him.

  “Bruh, it’s called ‘in love’ in English.”

  This dude exhibits the English phrase with such precise pronunciation, I want to just get up and give his motorcycle a gentle push with my foot. I wonder if he will exclaim in English with equally good accent when he’s in pain.

  “Look at you, bro! Knowing more since you got an English teacher girlfriend, eh.”

  “Aye, it’s called a ‘development,’ Mork. Well, take care of ma queue, will ya? I’mma let the boss know about it.” He starts the engine and puts on his safety helmet, then fastens the strap under his chin while double-checking the angles of his side mirrors. “When ma repair’s done I’mma head straight there to pick up Miss Ai. See ya tomorrow.”

  “Okay, take care, bro. Thanks.”

  I quickly give him a Thai salute.[9] He waves back and speeds out of the station. So, today I’ll drive for two queues, mine and his. It is a weekday, so this will be a big load of work, but it makes money. Alright, I tell myself. Just do your best, Mork!

  “Mork, you’re up!”

  Station boss gives me a holler.

  “Yessir!”

  I run back to my motorcycle and put my helmet on while handing another one to the passenger.

  “Where to, miss?”

  “Uh… Must I wear that?”

  She won’t tell me her destination, but keeps staring at the helmet in my hand with a disgusted and quizzical look. I try to pay it no mind, I’m used to this.

  “Yes, please. It’s for safety. Besides, traffic police are super strict about it lately.”

  “It’s just in this alley. We won’t run into any policeman. It’ll be fine!” She starts to sound uncompromising, and that’s when I take my cue and shut up. I better just do my job.

  “Uh… Okay, then. If you say so.”

  I hang the helmet back in its place. It’s her own safety anyway. Whatever, miss, suit yourself.

  “Ah, where to?” I ask again.

  “Baan Klang Soi Condo, please.”

  “That’ll be thirty baht. Please take the seat.”

  And then I just focus on my work.

  It’s not what I love.

  But it earns me a living.

  …………

  How do I start telling you about myself?

  My name is Mork. I am a motorcycle taxi driver.

  Sometimes I ask myself the same question that P'Fueang did, “Why am I working as a motorcycle taxi?” I finished my education, I didn’t drop out. I studied Electronics in a technical college near my home and received a Vocational Certificate, with good grades, even. So, let me tell you, I am not a delinquent…

  That’s not entirely true…

  Truth be told, my parents wanted me to pursue higher education and go for a diploma, but I was too stubborn. Back then, my girlfriend finished her general education after 12th grade and wanted to pursue higher education at Ramkhamhaeng University. She gave me an ultimatum, to break up or to come to Bangkok together. I don’t even have to tell you which choice I chose, right?

  This is why it’s not entirely true when I said I’m not a delinquent.

  Luckily, I have a Loong[10] - mom’s older brother - who started a motorcycle garage in Saphan Kwai area, so I could stay with him. When I first arrived in Bangkok, I thought I would find a job and share a place with my girlfriend. Problem is, my certificate could hardly land me a job in the capital. Or if there was a job, it was so low pay you would have an urge to ask whether it’s a salary or a change.

  Eventually, my uncle lent me his motorcycle and used his connections through P'Fueang, who was his acquaintance, to get me a spot in this motorcycle taxi station. That’s how I began my life as a motorcycle taxi on Phahon Yothin Road. Don’t turn up your nose yet. Let me tell you, if we work diligently and rarely take a day off, with the help of high passenger turnover rate, we could even make better money than salary men.

  I’ve been driving a motorcycle taxi while saving up. A part of my money went to support my girlfriend on her tuition fees. She also worked and received some monetary aid from her family, but the life in Bangkok wasn’t that easy, and she didn’t quite earn enough wages. So, although she didn’t ask for my money, I was willing to help. She was my girlfriend after all, it fell in my responsibility to support her.

  Four years went by, and I found out she was cheating on me. That turd was one of her classmates. And that’s why our relationship ended.

  “Why’d you do this to me, Fern?”

  If I could go back in time...I wouldn’t have asked her this question.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

  I was wondering if it was actually possible to cheat on someone without meaning to. What is it like? How do people even manage that?

  “Now, what’s next, Fern?”

  Actually, I meant to ask what to do about our relationship, because I was paying half of the rent for the dormitory where she was living in. I only slept there occasionally, as it was far from my station. I left work at 9 p.m. and started driving early in the morning, it was a big hassle to stay with her every night and also commute to work.

  “I...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

  She wasn’t answering my question. I wanted to know what to do next. I didn’t want an apology.

  “Enough with the stupid sorry, Fern. You already said it. I want to know what you want to do next.”

  “Are you letting me decide, Mork?” She asked and I nodded.

  “Can I choose him?”

  And that was the choice she made.

  I nodded again.

  I left the room key there.

  And walked away without looking back.

  I meant I walked away from our rental dormitory room and walked away from the old relationship between Fern and me. We began our life in Bangkok together, but from that moment onward, I had only myself in such a big city. The next thing I had to consider was what to do with my life. Since she had already chosen, I needed to choose my own path as well.

  Fern was the reason I moved to the metropolis. But now, that reason has abandoned me. Should I just go back home to Chumphon? I had some savings, which should be about enough for an investment if I wanted to open a retail shop…

  But at the same time, I felt reluctant to give up on the work opportunity in Bangkok. Driving a motorcycle taxi might be exhausting but it made decent money. It wasn’t easy to get a spot in a station, too. Besides, if I stayed in Bangkok, I could earn enough money to provide for my parents back home.

  Right then, I couldn’t make up my mind at all.

  But I knew I had to go home firs
t, no matter what.

  When your heart loses its way, you should at least bring your physical body back to where the heart feels at home.

  “Just stay here, kiddo.”

  My Loong made a decision for me when I finished telling him the whole story. I didn’t plan to share it with anyone. But my long face must have been so obvious he had to drag me aside for a talk, with a can of beer for each of us and a serving of yum[11] from canned sardines that Ar[12] fixed for us. I told both Loong and Ar about what happened today. I didn’t cry when I recounted my story, although a part of me thought I might feel better if I cried. It was odd. No matter how hard I urged myself or tried to force it out, no tears would fall.

  “Can I?” I asked.

  “Hell, yeah. It’s just me and him here. We have no kids. You stay here and keep driving the motorcycle taxi. Just help us watch the shop and lend us some hands when you’re free. My house has plenty of space anyway. Or whenever you want to quit driving as a job, maybe you can work here full time.”