My Ride, I Love You Read online

  “Your coffees are ready. Sugar-free Americano for Dr. Tawan, and extra sweet latte for Dr. Not.”

  The barista at the end of the counter bar calls to us. Nadia gives him a side glare so scary I had to duck even though it wasn’t aimed at me.

  “Tsk, I told you my name is now Nadia. Don’t call me Not. You keep forgetting!”

  Nadia responds scornfully while picking up the coffee, but still bats his eyelashes in a pompous glance at the barista, who furtively blows a kiss back in quite a flirtatious manner. Their interactions are so harmonic I want to set down my coffee cup and give them an applause.

  Instead, I hold my coffee and rush after Nadia to the outside.

  “Hey, Not, oops… Nadia.” I hurriedly correct myself when he turns to shoot me a death glare.

  “You’ve been bantering with this barista for several times since you were still a medical student. Now you’ve come back here again and he’s still here… Don’t you want to make any move?”

  “Huh, no, thanks. Are you nuts? He’s a barista.”

  Nadia rolled his eyes, taking a sip from his coffee, and strides towards the elevator lobby. We pass through the cafeteria without thinking about breakfast because it is already too late for a meal. Tight schedule only permits us to get a coffee to keep our souls alive in the morning and the late morning. Meanwhile, we have to pray to get enough break time around noon or in the afternoon to sneak out for the first meal of the day.

  “Aww, why? What’s wrong with being a barista?” I ask.

  Nadia halts and turns to look at me, squinting. “If I date a barista, where do you think he and I will be in the next three or five years? I mean our future. What will be the progress?”

  Uh… How am I to answer that question? I don’t have any answer for him, none at all. So I simply stay silent and wait for him to continue.

  “We’re adults, you know. It’s well past the time for simply dating, flirting, fooling around, or just having a darling. Now we need to find and stick with someone who’ll be our significant other, like you and P'Por.”

  “Like I and P'Por…?”

  I repeat Nadia’s last sentence and he nods.

  We are leaving through the door when my handsome guy happens to arrive, heading into the cafeteria. He smiles at me and I at him. In the split second when we pass each other, I feel a flush of warm and tingling sensation that is similar to a surge of electricity on my neck, around those marks he left on me.

  “You look pretty happy.” Nadia smiles at me while wiggling his brows to the direction of P'Por who’s now in the cafeteria.

  “Um...yep, of course. He’s the man of my dreams.” I reply.

  “The man of your dreams? So, if he’s here with you now, does it mean that your dreams have come true, or that you’re dreaming?”

  Nadia teases. But it has me ponder. Oh, right… If he’s the man of my dreams, and he’s standing beside me, does it mean I’m in the dreams or did he come out of my dreams to be with me?

  If he left my dreams to be with me, then that’s okay. But if I’m in the dreams, then everything is bound to disappear because I will someday wake up. Right?

  “Snap out of it, will you? The lift is here.”

  Again, Nadia pulls me out of my trance.

  “Are you on duty today?” Nadia asks after boarding the elevator. He promptly presses the numbered buttons, nine for his Pediatric Ward and eight for my Internal Medicine, Female Ward.

  “Uh… Nope.”

  “Dawww, why! The schedule you gave me says otherwise! I thought we could have dinner together in the evening.”

  “Eh? You’re on duty today?”

  “Surely, I am! Why else would I gabble about it?”

  “Uh… I traded my duty slot with someone. Gonna go over and stay with darling tonight.”

  I reply timidly.

  “Okayyyyy! Newly wed, huh.”

  I already figured Nadia would roll his eyes. But it’s still funny to see him showing mock-grievance towards me.

  Ding… The elevator stops on the eighth floor for Internal Medicine, Female Regular Ward.

  I step outside.

  “Hey, Tawan! You got a boyfriend now but don’t you dare forget about me. Don’t neglect me. Make time for dinner with me too!”

  He commands before the doors start closing.

  I stick my tongue out at him.

  “Who could forget such a friend like you? Silly goose!”

  Nadia’s laughters escape the tiny gap between the elevator’s doors before they completely shut. I smile and shake my head. Even though I got the dream guy as my boyfriend, there is no way I would forget to make time for my dearest friend. Who could neglect him?

  I recall the day when I first met Nadia…

  Uh… When he still went by his old name, Not.

  …………

  “Hey. Hey, you.”

  The person next to me gently nudged me.

  I turned my head to look. He was wearing a uniform with khaki shorts. His hair was close-cropped, which was as proper as in a rulebook for high school boys. In our specific row, there were ten new students sitting and waiting to report in. We were the only boys among them. The rest in the row were all girls in their uniforms with a variety of skirt colors. Some blue, some red, and...purple? That was the first time I saw a purple uniform.

  “Uh...yes? What’s up?”

  I replied softly, almost in a whisper, because everyone else was completely quiet. All ninety students were listening to instructions about the physical examination and psychological assessment procedure for the Faculty of Medicine’s freshmen. Moreover, the staff who was speaking didn’t look friendly at all.

  “Have you heard that during the psychological assessment, they will disqualify all sissies, tomboys, gays, and lesbians?”

  “But how would they know whether we are or not?” It’s really my habit to answer a question with another question.

  “I think they can see through our facial expressions and body language. I heard they have expert psychiatry professors as examiners.”

  “Psychiatrists can’t read minds. How would they know what we’re thinking?” I questioned, starting to ponder what the new friend said.

  “I think they can read minds. I’m scared. What if they disqualify me?” And that told me why my new friend asked what he just did. I smiled softly at him, hoping it would calm his feelings.

  “I heard that, too, but I don’t believe it.”

  “How come? Why do you say so?” He asked.

  “During the Medical Students First Meet I asked the seniors, and they said that’s nonsense. Totally a lie.”

  Actually, it was me who lied. I merely wanted him to feel relieved. It was terrible to start a new friendship with a fib, but I had good intentions. So that’s forgiven, I hope.

  “Hmm? You attended the Med. freshmen’s first meet day?” He widened his eyes.

  I nodded. “Yep, why? You didn’t?” I tried to recall his face but there were so many first year medical students of various institutes from all over the country, perhaps about a thousand students. The chance of me having seen him was slim, especially when we were sorted into groups with people from other universities.

  “I didn’t. My parents brought me on a trip to celebrate the admission.”

  “Ah… I see. That’s why I haven’t seen you before.” I nodded slowly.

  How wonderful! The gift I got after getting into a medical program was plainly a stationery set. Right, you didn’t misread it. Just a new stationery set. That’s it. Perhaps my parents were no longer excited about their son becoming a medical student since my big brother, Saeng, was admitted into a Faculty of Medical, ranking the first place for Thailand’s overall score. And then I, Mr. Tawanork,[14] was their second son who became a medical student.

  For me, successfully entering a university did not cause joy, but rather a relief. At least I was living up to the standards my brother had previously set. Now, the burden fell onto the shoulders o
f “Daonuea,”[15]our youngest brother, whose turn to take a university entrance exam would be in three years. My next responsibility was to focus on completing my education.

  “So, that means… Even as a sissy, I will pass alright?”

  He repeated his question, to which I nodded and smiled.

  “Thanks. My name is Not, and you?”

  “My name is Tawanork.”

  Not looked at the name on my student uniform.

  On the chest, there was an embroidery of my full name, “Tawanork Tisawong.”

  “What about your nickname?” He asked.

  I shook my head. “None. My parents didn’t give me one.”

  “That’s odd…” He furrowed his brows. “How about I call you Tawan for a nickname? From now on you’re Tawan.”

  “The two of you over there! How long are you going to chat?”

  The strict-looking staff gave a stern warning. My new friend and I immediately sat up straight and behaved. But we secretly exchanged a look out of the corners of our eyes, fighting a smile.

  My friendship with Not started just like that.

  We were each other’s first friend in the Faculty of Medicine.

  Through the whole six years of study, we were lucky to be assigned to the same rotation most of the time. On top of that, we were roommates at the dormitory. We stuck together except during the sporting events. He preferred joining the cheerleader unit, so we went separate ways for event duties. As for me, I was more inclined to join the welfare unit because I knew most people dislike the tasks, but it was an important unit nonetheless.

  That was how I came across P'Por like I’ve mentioned before.

  And it was also why Not missed out on that part of my life’s story.

  …………

  “Nong Tawan.”

  P'Nok, a third year female resident who is also the chief of this ward calls me as soon as she spots me stepping into the ward.

  Dear me...!! I got here after the chief resident. Is she going to give me an earful?

  “Y...yes? Hello, P'.”

  “Someone told me you’re going out with P'Por, a staff from the dental department. Is that true?”

  Uh… That’s not a question I would have guessed. I don’t know what kind of face to make. And maybe it is because I am looking as lifeless as a wax sculpture, she snaps her fingers in front of me to summon my soul.

  “Ah, uh, yep. Well, that’s right. I’m going out with him, but…” I lower my voice, “we’re not advertising it, because I don’t want him to get a bad reputation. It’s against the rules about workplace relationships.”

  “That’s bull! What rules? He’s in the dental hospital division, while we’re in the university hospital division, we’re under separate administrations. You aren’t breaking the rules.”

  Um… I know, P'Nok. I’m just finding an excuse to deter you from grilling me about it. I don’t want too many people talking about me and P'Por.

  “Hey, I’m rooting for you. I’m a yaoi fangirl from the 90’s. I love it when guys get lovey-dovey with each other.”

  She finishes and walks off to look through the charts that belong to the other line[16] of the ward. I take this chance to dash to my side of the ward, grabbing the charts and putting them onto the ward round trolley, and call for the fourth year medical students to assemble and prepare for the next ward round.

  “Oh, right! Tawan, one more thing.”

  P'Nok still has something else to say. She marches over to my side of the ward. I am not startled this time. I give her a withered smile, praying she’s not going to say anything about P'Por and me in front of these fourth year medical students, because if they know anything, it will be known across the whole hospital, too.

  “It’s going to be the hundredth day ceremony soon. You guys from first year prepare a show, okay?”

  “Oh…right. Understood, P'.”

  “You’re the head of the team, Tawan. And please win some awards! Our Medical Dept. hasn’t won anything for years. Those Ortho. freaks like to send half naked handsome guys onstage to perform Likay[17] and always hogs the prize.”

  “Ah… Okay, P'.” Me? The head? What the crap am I going to do? Although I was engaged in the university’s event activities, I was in the welfare unit, if you know what I mean. I’ve never done anything that requires creativity, for crying out loud!

  “But this year, our Medical Dept. got many handsome hotties.” Her voice is full of hope and satisfaction. “We must earn some prizes. Before I finish my residency, we must get a Got Talent award at least once. I put my trust in you, Tawan.” She concludes and walks back to the other line.

  Oh, right. Time flies. It’s already going on the fourth month of our life during specialty residency training. After getting through the first hundred days, we’ll be over the hump. Because the beginning is the most dangerous and intimidating leg of the journey, where most people get discouraged and drop out from their studies.

  During the transition from a generic intern doctor, who does general practice, to a house doctor (also known as resident or “dent” for short,) who is again considered a student, means immense adjustment.

  Everything about work changes; heavier workload, tougher patient-care, and more complicated cases. On top of that, there are a ton of academic obligations like taking lectures, writing topic reviews, and attending case conferences in the department, outside of the department, away from the hospital, or in another province. And sometimes we even have international case conferences. I suspect we will have a conference with other planets as well if it becomes available someday in the future. This is such a super-sized combo set meal, hotter and bigger than the ones from fast food franchises.

  The workloads increase dramatically, whereas the wages decrease. As a trade off so the house doctors get their education without needing to pay the tuition fees, the hospital reserves the right to give us lower salary. The pay from duty rotation is also lower, while the duty is way more hectic and laborious.

  So it is common for the residents to feel like a shocked fish after an immediate water change and decide to drop out of the specialty training and go back to being general practitioners. Some of them divert to taking short courses and opening a skin clinic, a common path, while some are so distraught they quit being a doctor altogether and adopt a different profession.

  Therefore, after a hundred days, the faculty and the hospital will hold a welcome party as if patting us on the back to congratulate on being durable enough to survive for over three months. It is also to encourage us to stay until we complete the education and become full-fledged specialists.

  But if it is but an ordinary party with a feast...it won’t be wow-worthy.

  So we participate in a Got Talent contest as well.

  Every division and every department must present a stage performance from first year residents who have just weathered a hundred days (also exhausted and in dire need of a rest). They must produce a wow-inducing performance and compete against other teams on the stage. Winners will be awarded with things like necessary equipment to furnish and improve the quality of the department's break room in the ward.

  Normally, the winners get either a massive TV screen, a refrigerator, a bunk bed, a combo washer-dryer, an electric rice cooker, an electric pan, or a game console (I heard there is a PS4 Pro this year). Consolation prizes are mostly five boxes of instant noodles, fresh eggs, uncooked milled rice, canned sardines, and dried food. (Heck, is this for doctors’ break room or disaster relief donation room?) Sometimes there are snacks as well, to guarantee that the residents will never starve to death while they are on duty without any time for a break.

  We, the tribe - oops! - I mean the doctors from the medical department keep getting instant noodles and eggs for several years. I partly sympathize with P'Nok, for it is not merely a matter of food and survival, but also dignity. Besides, our break room’s fridge seems to be unable to stay cold now, it’s starting to emit a peculiar smell.

&nb
sp; Alrighty! If this year we can’t earn a game console or a TV, we must at least get a new refrigerator.

  The problem is… I have to produce a performance.

  And I must lead.

  What the heck am I going to do?

  Oh, hmm… Actually, I’ve been in this kind of situation before.

  …………

  “Heyyyyyyy! Not, wait up!”

  Out of breath, I chased after Not who was exiting the cheer meeting[18] hall when the first year medical students’ cheer meeting was wrapped up.

  “What’s up, Tawan?”

  “Uh...well, as freshmen, we have to perform in the freshmen welcome party.”

  I replied, still huffing and puffing. Traditionally, to fully conclude the cheer meeting activity, the freshmen must perform a stage play for the seniors from second to sixth year as a token of gratitude for welcoming us. They will then take us under their wings, assorted into smaller groups called a “peer-mentoring line,” and give us welcome presents. Some even said whether or not the seniors will favor us depends wholly on how well-received our play is. Worse yet, rumor had it that some freshmen didn’t get into any peer-mentoring line because the seniors rejected them for presenting a horrible stage play.